The Squeakyness of the Lord

I am three weeks into school and am finally starting to feel like I am not drowning in all of the planning, prepping, and praying that old teachers forget to tell you about. I am obviously in control as I have now limited myself to one nap a week after school instead of the three necessary to survive the first week. I’ve had some successful lessons and I’ve had some flops. Apparently school uniforms are not as controversial as I thought and eighth graders are not yet ready to admit that Disney made some mistakes in their version of the Pocahontas story. Live and learn. Screeching chalk on the chalkboard is a guaranteed chatter-stopper and no matter how old kids are, they still think that a teacher can’t tell they haven’t read the assigned reading if they give convincing answers like, “Well, I think it’s a great book.” When asked what part was good, “Oh, that part right at the end.” Sneaky. But the most important lesson I’ve learned so far: under NO circumstance should I stay after school on Wednesdays. Wednesdays are choir and theater practice which are conveniently held two doors down from my room. Choir was bearable for the first few weeks. It gave me a chance to catch up on the poppy “Gather” book church songs (you know what I’m talking about… We are Marching, Taste and See, all the good classics) after a few year hiatus. But then the unthinkable happened, the choir teacher added recorders to every song. Recorders! No one can tolerate the sound of recorders. They are squeaky and shrill and generally unpleasant. “Taste and seeeeee…. SQUEAK… the goodness of the Lord (piercing whistle) the goooooood (SQUEEEEEAK) ness of the Lord.” I can’t say that helps me pray. Except maybe for it to stop. Theater class isn’t much better. I am not joking when I say in two weeks they have yet to make it through one song. Apparently it is some complex choreography they are working on (all I hear is stomping) because they are going to now that dance backwards and forwards. Maybe I’ll be able to jump up on stage and perform with them… with a recorder.