Train Etiquette Round Two

Two hours a day, five days a week gives me a very intimate relationship with the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority. The T and I are on very close terms and it is for that reason that I feel necessary to add to Bill’s previous list of Train Etiquette expectations. At least that way I will have an impact on any visitors that may come this way. Your good modeling could influence a lot of people. So when riding the T, please keep these thoughts in mind.

1. Everyone loves a good cell phone conversation – the people directly involved and everyone within listening area. When a person chooses to talk in a confined area like the T, he must understand eavesdropping to be a natural tendency. Please don’t get all angry when people look up after you say something shocking. You must have known we were all listening to your play-by-play anyway.

2. The train gets very busy during peak hours. Many people do not fit in the 12 seats provided in each car. Unfortunately, some people have to stand. For the people that stand in front of the door: you must realize the benefits and consequences of this small space. The downside of having a door to lean against is the fact that the door opens and people want to get out. I understand it may not be your stop, but you must leave the train for others behind you to get out. Don’t worry, people will let you back in. Sorry friend, it’s a part of the territory.

3. And most importantly, love always seems to be in the air on the T. I am not one to criticize affection—if you are comfortable making out on a germ-infested train where you may as well be licking the floor or the metal bar that touches hundreds of hands each day—fine with me. However, I do have a few stipulations. If you and your lover choose to stand up for the duration of your trip, it would be great if BOTH of you would hold on to something other than each other. One person holding the bar is not adequate. The momentum of the train pushes that person forward, and then you, my freestanding friend, fly forward. This would not be a problem if your lover were balanced, but he is not. The result is not one, but two train surfers crashing into everyone around them. This is not welcomed. On the other hand, if you and your friend decide to sit, thus alleviating the pinball effect, you need to sit in your own chair. This means do not sit in your chair sideways so that you are looking your special someone in the eye. When you do this, the pair of you take up three spots. You might try turning your head instead of your whole body. Some people have found this highly effective.

Thank you and please take all belongings with you when you reach your stop. Thank you for riding the T.