The Greatest Show on Earth

Today at 23 I had a major milestone – my first circus. I must say going at such a mature age without the burden of my own children was close to an ideal situation. The scariness of clown antics had worn off and the wound-up kids got sent on their way. The only problem with my experience was my utter distraction due to the following obsessive thoughts.

1. Clowns are creepy. I’ve been wary of clowns and mimes for quite some time. I appreciate the benefit of clowns at such events as birthday parties and hospitals where they have an understood goal – make balloon animals and heal sick kids. But in a circus, the clowns just waste time doing stupid routines before and after the real acts. First there is a superb juggling act. Then a death-defying trapeze act. Sadly, the transition time is filled with a clown dressed in oversized denim overalls shoving whipped cream in another clown’s face. I know some kids think this is funny. They are the same children that LOVE Sponge Bob Squarepants and Captain Underpants. However, it is my theory that the majority of children are only laughing because this select toilet-humor group is laughing. It is no wonder that kids grow up to celebrate MTV’s ridiculous shows. So basically I’ve just made the conclusion that clowns bring teenagers to do stupid stunts witnessed on MTV. I’ll go with it.

2. Who actually joins the circus? I’ve always heard about people running away to join the circus, usually on tv, but still I heard about it. For some reason I thought this was more of an expression than an actual occurrence. But today I realized that obviously people join the circus or circuses wouldn’t exist. Who though? Are circus workers their own little community that populates and controls itself like the Amish? Possibly. Do people grow up knowing that it is their destiny to join? This I could see if all the acts were glamorous like the trapeze and the strong people that can hold someone up while balancing on one figure. But there are definitely unattractive acts in the circus that I can see very few people dreaming about as children. I guess some people might see it as a free pass to travel around and meet new people, but seriously, is the sting of working for the circus worth a little sightseeing?

3. As a continuation of number two, which would be worse – to be a clown in the circus or a carnie? I spent an extended period of time weighing the pros and cons of both and in the end I cannot decide. Being a clown would be pretty horrible for the obvious reason that it involves clownness, but a carnie? Strange things happen at carnivals. At least circuses are meant for children and kids genuinely enjoy most of the things that happen there. A bad carnival experience could scar someone for life – a loss of lifesavings on a fixed ring toss or two hours lost in a “Fun” house. But then again, one bad clown experience could scar both a child and the clown involved. See? It really is a difficult choice. Please offer any insights you have to this very important question.

So that was my circus experience. I can’t say I’ll be back, in the audience or on the staff, anytime soon.