Important (and not so important) Updates

1. We just returned from a wonderful 10 day Appleton stay. Sometimes I think that place really is heaven. Then I remember that Appletonians generally fall into one of the following categories: 0-21 or 30-really old. There is leeway in the middle for young parents, but anyone 22 through 29 with no children are guaranteed to be at a loss for exciting opportunities. Thankfully, visiting is still okay as the new abundance of “hip” restaurants and bars downtown fill up 10 days nicely. We reacquainted ourselves with our old favorites while spending time with people we love. Awww.

2. I have decided to become a vegetarian. I know it is shocking seeing as a hold a membership card to Chicken Eaters Anonymous, but it was a necessary step for me at this point. Especially after I found out about vegetarian hot dogs and chicken patties. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later; like Brian said, “There’s something about Americorp…” For the record, Bill is supporting me in this decision, but not making the same change. He says he’ll eat the vegetarian meals I cook, but assured me he would get meat when he needed it. We’ll see about that.

3. Even though she has a hard time showing it, our cat, Lola, apparently really does love us. After 10 days without us she seemed to realize that we are actually amazing owners and thought that sleeping on my head would be a great way to show her affection. This showing of love was followed by multiple bites for Bill. I guess she’s picked up on gender stereotypes.

4. My work had to evacuate the building by orders of the bomb squad today. A suspicious suitcase was found right in front of our building. It was definitely one of the generic suitcases that you realize everyone in the world has (big and black) when you are standing at the baggage claim, so its owner remains at large. It was free of a Marquette ribbon though, so you can cross the Guilbeaults off the list.

5. Bill and I will be Uncle Bill and Aunt (not Ant) Beth in 0-17 days. In fact, we may have such titles now but I won’t know until I check the answering machine. Reason number 12,967 to own a cell phone.

6. Most importantly, we are officially staying in Boston for at least another year. Bill is staying on at his job though his exact position is unknown. I am getting far away from my program and the people within it by moving to a K-8 school. I’m sure the importance of this situation is clear – this cutesy Blog title will remain correct.

New Hampshire Adventure

You would be surprised with the number of opportunities that come to me and Bill as Americorp volunteers. I think something about having so low an income that it needs to be called a “stipend” instead of a salary makes people feel bad for us. I would say it is just because Bill and I are amazing people, but when Dan was in JVC he got to do cooler things than he was able to do for quite a while afterwards, so I am back to the theory that we evoke pity and people try to remedy this feeling by giving us free stuff. Such was the case last weekend when we wound up in a mountain-top condo in New Hampshire. One of the teachers at Julie’s owns a “second home” in New Hampshire and her present to the Americorp workers was a free stay. Five of us enjoyed luxuries as one would a five star resort – heat all night long, a dishwasher, and a guaranteed parking spot. The fireplace and air hockey table were the icing on the cake. It really was high class. So high class that I got almost a little too used to having different floors. Upon arriving home, I remembered how small an attic apartment really is. There is nothing like realizing someone’s “second home” is three times larger than your not-even-owned first home. But that’s beside the point. The highlight of the trip went a little something like this…

After relaxing the day away on Saturday at the Rec Center pool and Jacuzzi, we decided to be highly active on Sunday. Someone found a hiking path flyer on the refrigerator that we thought we would give a try. That was our first mistake. Backpacks and water were deemed unnecessary. That was our second mistake. We drove to the beginning of the trail. Alas, the biggest mistake. After hiking for about a half hour, we realized the hikers coming from the other directions were grossly over-equipped. They looked a little foolish with their hiking packs, boots, and sticks. A half hour later we made it to the top. We took in the view and snapped a bunch of pictures. We were ready to head back down. But then something funny happened— the trail kept going up and not at a gradual incline. It felt like we were walking up a vertical plane. We were slipping and sliding down a wet rock face. Suddenly our fellow hikers with their fancy boots and sticks did not look so foolish. In fact, we were embarrassed that, once again, people were pitying us. But this time it was just like the time that Bill and I biked to High Cliff with the wind and “rode” AKA pushed our bikes against the wind on the way home. A man, of course better equipped than us, stopped his bike, pulled a cell phone out of his fanny pack, and asked us if there was anyone we could call to pick us up. Highly embarrassing. Back to the mountain… we stopped a couple and asked them if we were close to the top. They consoled us in saying that we had already done the hardest part and it was just “a bit longer to the top. Then another little hike to the second peak.” The second peak! They were also lying in that we had completed the hardest part. We got through the two peaks alright, but here’s a tip: if you plan on climbing a mountain in early spring when the snow is just melting without nice equipment, change your plans immediately. We had multiple falls on the way down with sore muscles and large bruises to prove it. We basically spent the rest of hike in fear of catastrophe. The thought of carrying someone down the hill with multiple people offering help, cell phones, and first aid kits was just too awful. I was secretly threatening the rest of the hiking group in my head. Safely back at our resort, we discussed our ordeal. Bill said he was also worried about someone breaking something, but he stayed calming knowing he could “make a splint out of branches and twigs.” Right. Then the real shock came to light. While revisiting the flyer for the mountain we noticed right on it the elevation and level of intensity. When we asked the “someone” who found the flyer about it she replied, “Oh I read it. I just thought they were lying.” Interesting.

The Greatest Show on Earth

Today at 23 I had a major milestone – my first circus. I must say going at such a mature age without the burden of my own children was close to an ideal situation. The scariness of clown antics had worn off and the wound-up kids got sent on their way. The only problem with my experience was my utter distraction due to the following obsessive thoughts.

1. Clowns are creepy. I’ve been wary of clowns and mimes for quite some time. I appreciate the benefit of clowns at such events as birthday parties and hospitals where they have an understood goal – make balloon animals and heal sick kids. But in a circus, the clowns just waste time doing stupid routines before and after the real acts. First there is a superb juggling act. Then a death-defying trapeze act. Sadly, the transition time is filled with a clown dressed in oversized denim overalls shoving whipped cream in another clown’s face. I know some kids think this is funny. They are the same children that LOVE Sponge Bob Squarepants and Captain Underpants. However, it is my theory that the majority of children are only laughing because this select toilet-humor group is laughing. It is no wonder that kids grow up to celebrate MTV’s ridiculous shows. So basically I’ve just made the conclusion that clowns bring teenagers to do stupid stunts witnessed on MTV. I’ll go with it.

2. Who actually joins the circus? I’ve always heard about people running away to join the circus, usually on tv, but still I heard about it. For some reason I thought this was more of an expression than an actual occurrence. But today I realized that obviously people join the circus or circuses wouldn’t exist. Who though? Are circus workers their own little community that populates and controls itself like the Amish? Possibly. Do people grow up knowing that it is their destiny to join? This I could see if all the acts were glamorous like the trapeze and the strong people that can hold someone up while balancing on one figure. But there are definitely unattractive acts in the circus that I can see very few people dreaming about as children. I guess some people might see it as a free pass to travel around and meet new people, but seriously, is the sting of working for the circus worth a little sightseeing?

3. As a continuation of number two, which would be worse – to be a clown in the circus or a carnie? I spent an extended period of time weighing the pros and cons of both and in the end I cannot decide. Being a clown would be pretty horrible for the obvious reason that it involves clownness, but a carnie? Strange things happen at carnivals. At least circuses are meant for children and kids genuinely enjoy most of the things that happen there. A bad carnival experience could scar someone for life – a loss of lifesavings on a fixed ring toss or two hours lost in a “Fun” house. But then again, one bad clown experience could scar both a child and the clown involved. See? It really is a difficult choice. Please offer any insights you have to this very important question.

So that was my circus experience. I can’t say I’ll be back, in the audience or on the staff, anytime soon.

Analysis of Experiment “Force Bill to Blog”

Problem: How can I strongly encourage Bill to blog?

Hypothesis: I believe that if Beth does not blog for a long period of time, loyal readers will become upset which in turn will motivate Bill to blog.

Experimentation:
Independent variable – Beth’s lack of blogging
Dependent variable – Bill’s consequent blogging
Controlled variables – loyal readers, internet access, interesting thoughts/observations to provoke blogging

Results: Beth’s last blog was February 26, 2006. Between that time and the publishing of this article (April 3, 2006) Bill blogged exactly once.

Conclusion: My experimentation shows that Beth’s hiatus from blogging had no effect on the frequency of Bill’s blogging. It is possible that Bill was incredibly busy between the 26th of February and the 3rd of April. To improve my experiment next time, I might let Bill know about my scientific study to provoke the competitive edge that is so inherent in our marriage. Until then loyal readers, you will have to put up with my one-sided, biased account of our life here in Boston.

Presidents' Day... two months late

Just a warning, it’s been quite a while since I have employed my researching and reporting techniques, so you will have to forgive me if I am a little rusty. If in fact you do see some shortcomings, just let me know and I will send you a collegiate literary analysis. I have some stellar selections from which to choose. (Oooo… could have ended that in a preposition. I’m amazing).

So it turns out no one knows anything about Millard Fillmore because his presidency was a little on the boring side. He may have been a very interesting person in life, but he didn’t have a whole lot of political support, therefore making him a poor choice for a presidential report. But alas –
Millard Fillmore was born in the Finger Lakes county of New York. He lived a frontier life and had little formal schooling. Yet, he somehow became a lawyer and later gained a state office. Fillmore was a member of the House of Representatives for eight years before becoming the Comptroller of New York. It was at that time he was elected Vice President to Taylor. When President Taylor died of complications to indigestion, Fillmore gained presidency. Unfortunately, his Whig party was upset over his signing of the Fugitive Slave Act, and refused to reelect him.

To make things a little more interesting, I attempted to find some trivia on Fillmore. Sadly, even the trivia is a little on the dry side.
1. M.F. was one of two presidents to have double letters in his first and last names
2. M.F. did not make an Inaugural Address
3. It is said that M.F. installed the first running water bathtub in the White House. This is actually a lie started by journalist H. L. Mencken to “have some fun during war days.” Wow, worst hoax ever.


Now that I am warmed up, on to Jimmy Carter...
Jimmy Carter, a Georgia native, began dappling in politics on the state level in 1962. This led him to a successful gubernatorial race eight years later. Carter rose in influence by emphasizing such issues as ecology, efficiency in government, and the break down of racial barriers. As president, Carter brought these issues to a national level through a number of achievements in domestic affairs: establishing a national energy policy, expanding the national park system, the creation of the Department of Education, and record appointments of women, African Americans, and Hispanics. Unfortunately, these successes were overshadowed by an increase in inflation and Iran holding fifty-two Americans captive along.

Perhaps Carter’s greatest gift to his country was his work in foreign affairs. He pursued amity between Egypt and Israel, gained diplomatic relations with the People’s Republic of China, and completed negotiations of the SALT II nuclear limitation treaty with the Soviet Union. Carter’s passion for peaceful negotiation continued after his presidency with the creation of the Carter Center. This Center aims to resolve conflict, promote democracy, protect human rights, and prevent disease. Such commitment enabled Carter to be the third president to win the Nobel Peace Prize. The former president was honored in 2002 for “decades of untiring effort to find peaceful solutions to international conflicts, to advance democracy and human rights, and to promote economic and social development.” As if that wasn’t enough, Carter currently volunteers one week a year for Habitat for Humanity, teaches Sunday school, and is a deacon.

If you aren’t feeling inadequate yet, here are some fun facts I learned in my research that definitely put me over the edge.
1. Carter is a speed reader able to read 2000 words per minute.
2. Carter studied nuclear physics at Annapolis
3. Carter has three sons, one daughter, eight grandsons, and three granddaughters.
4. Carter seems to have an issue with given names. He was the first president to be sworn in using his nickname – Jimmy— and his sons John William, James Earl III, and Donnel Jeffrey go by Jack, Chip, and Jeff.
Okay, the last one does not encourage inadequacy, but it is interesting nonetheless. That along with the fact that Carter’s favorite foods are mixed nuts and peaches; can you get any more wholesome?