Life in Eastern Standard Time

Moving to Boston took a lot of getting used to: the accent, the weather, and especially Eastern Standard Time. Let me tell you, a change in time zone makes a lot of difference in daily life. Everything seems to happen later here. People work until 7 because they didn’t go into the office until 9 or 10. The sunlight is different as we’re about the same latitude, but an hour ahead. But the biggest impact is definitely in watching television. People in Central Standard Time have it made. Normal shows start at 7 and the later shows end at the reasonable hour of 10:00. That gives you plenty of time to eat dinner, sit around, and still be to bed at a normal time. EST is not so luxurious. Normal shows here don’t start until 8:00, yet at 7:00 my mind yells to me, “Sit down! Stop thinking! Entertain me with mindless images!” What is a person to do in this situation? Obviously, I must suffer through until Jeopardy comes on at 7:30 to remind me that my brain does still function. What show is on at 7:00 before Jeopardy? Wheel of Fortune. Wheel undoubtedly has some perks. It does involve some thinking; some of the puzzles are tricky to downright impossible (Hazy Skies as a bonus puzzle?) and there seems to be a rash of Wisconsin contestants lately, a plus in most situations. Additionally, it’s a good warm up to the linguistic questions of Jeopardy. But here are a few of my questions/concerns – why does Vanna always wear an evening dress and why do they even bother to call her a hostess of the show? It’s obvious she’s pretty and ages absurdly well, but wouldn’t she look just as attractive in something less promlike? Also, touching a board may require forethought and some walking, but it is definitely not on par with Pat Sajak’s part of the show. Vanna, I’m a big fan, but let’s be realistic, you are much more of an accessory than a necessity.
Next, why do the contestants only talk about themselves in regards to marriage and children. Both of those things are good, but why can’t they have funny anecdotal stories like on Jeopardy. Fine that you love your two beautiful children and wonderful husband, but I would much rather hear about the time you almost met an almost famous actor.
Lastly, why does there always need to be a theme? Sweethearts Week – okay, Walt Disney World Week – getting weaker, NFL Players Week and Soap Stars Week – oh boy, now we’re in trouble. If I don’t want to see these “celebrities” during the day, I doubly don’t want to see them at night after a long day of work. And by the way Wheel, I’m on to you about these little on location weeks, it’s clear that they are just ploys to go on vacation every few weeks. College Week? More like go to Denver on Wheel for three weeks.